14th of February 2013

♥♥♥Happy Valentines Day♥♥♥

Wow! What a morning and what a day! Especially after the events which had unfolded yesterday, I honestly didn't know how I personally was going to react, and I didn't know how the day would pan out at all. Especially after the shocking news which work had given us the other day. 

On the way to work, I was actually running a little bit late, and caught a later train. Which meant that I arrived work at about 5 minutes after 8am. But it seems as though that I wasn't the only one that was late for work, a lot of people had blank faces and really couldn't concentrate on their work. Which meant that there were a lot of groups talking to each other and trying to look on the positive side.

I had a one on one meeting at 1:45pm which I was a little nervous about, as there was only about 6 people on our side that had one on one meetings. While the rest had on big group interview. I was nervous inside and tried so much not to let it show it, as there was a lot of people who were worried as well and I tried my best to comfort them and let them know that everything would be alright. This was just another bump in the road, and in the wise words of an ancient proverb, "This too shall pass."

People start watching movies at their desks, and listening to music and rarely were doing any work. But there was also a large group of us who were. I for one was doing as much work as I could just to simply get my mind off things, and I was trying to set an example to the people around me that no matter what the outcome would be, it wouldn't change who I was.

I had my lunch break early, and went on my own to have some Maccas. And that was simply because I wanted to walk all the way to the QVB building and listen to some music by Muse and try to get my mind to stop wondering about what will happen. It was a good thing that I went as I happen to win a free attraction pass from the monopoly game that Maccas is currently doing at the moment.

When I headed back into the office I headed off into the meeting which I had, and the news wasn't good. The job which I had for almost two years will no longer exist and I will no longer be needed after a few months. I had somewhat prepared for this, and I just starred blankly for a while. I think no matter how much I thought I was prepared for it, the actual news still hits you hard. You think the worse but you never really expect it to happen.

After that meeting I went to sit within the foyer of  the building on the ground floor and just sat there for about an hour so I could process everything. I started to send texts to my mum and friends to let them know of the outcome of the meeting. I wasn't there for long when people who had a meeting after me joined me within the foyer to let me know the same thing. We joked around and laughed a bit,we knew that we were all strong but it would take a little while for the shock to go away. 

I found out a few hours later that only a few of us were let go and that the rest of them were staying, which personally made me a little angry for a bit as I don't - and still don't - understand it. The whole thing didn't make any sense, and why they were only letting a few of us go and not a big group of us, but I guess that's what life is all about. The mystery, the uncertainty, and the consistent keeping you on your toes. I was fine until I got home and everything set it. The looking for work, the feeling like failure when you don't get the job that you've applied for, and the constant struggle to keep moving forward. I broke down and mum and Frank pulled me out of my room and told me that there are worse things that could happen, and I just kept on thinking let me just grieve for now, let me just take some time to get over it, so I can get this all out of my system.

I was constantly receiving text message from friends with support and comforts that I felt really loved and blessed. It really makes you stand up and notice who your friends are when times get a little bit tough. The people who are there to pull you back on your feet and offer support if you need it helped greatly. And I think and love all my friends who were there for me, even if it was just for them to lend an ear to me while I vented.

After a few hours mum had to visit a friend of hers and wanted me to come with her just so I can get out of the house. I honestly didn't want to get out of the house, but felt that it was best that I should so I can vent and get it all out of my system. We were only there for an hour until I came home. I put on a movie so I wouldn't let my mind wonder why I tried to sleep, but honestly I was that exhausted that I don't think I saw 10 minutes worth of the movie.